fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
