apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
