But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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