He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
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Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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