stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize