you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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