I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
