i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
