i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
