i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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