So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize