Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
