at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Are we still banned from the library?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
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