i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize