Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Randomize
