lets start a swedish sibling band together
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
