I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
