So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
