Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
