I think I died a long time ago.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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