My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
