dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
