Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
