Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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