none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
