ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just want to make out with him forever
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
