If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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