if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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