I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
