Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
