a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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