Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
