Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
