that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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