She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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