Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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