the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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