you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
