Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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