I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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