People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
