Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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