That's when you crack a 10am beer
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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