omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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