the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
