It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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