Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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