Me. At least after what I've been through.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
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i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
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OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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