ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
