Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
