Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
