:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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