Dual....:-)
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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