I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
you didnt know i had herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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