And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
