Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
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Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
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Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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