She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
the day after is always just damage control
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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