I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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