If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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