i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
