he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
He felt like a one man threesome
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
did i walk over a car last night?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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