And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
