im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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