"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
