i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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