she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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