I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
