i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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