dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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